I like it well enough, pretty good. I’ve got a lot more to say than that, but broadly I think that’s true. It’s pretty decent. There’s a handful of songs I like a lot, and most of the songs I think are at least alright.
I think with most of Ne-Yo’s music, with most of his albums, I finished my day of listening with half an urge to go back and listen again, to listen a third time, and then maybe a fourth. There was the feeling that I didn’t get everything out of it that I could have. I feel that that’s true, that there’s more here than I can see right now, that I’m leaving it untapped. That’s a feeling I know how to recognize, I think. More, I trust that feeling—and still, I just don’t really have the patience to put in that work for Ne-Yo right now. I want to give him that time and that chance, because I think that is such an important and interesting part of music and art and becoming a thoughtful listener. At the same time, I really don’t want to give him that time and that chance. I’m tired of him, and the reasons I’m tired of him are things that would stick around even with more time and more chances, are reasons that let me feel pretty comfortable with the C-.
One of those reasons is how he uses sex in his music. My bar for this, the way I judge what feels appropriate or useful or interesting, has changed quite a bit in the last handful of years, but my fundamental approach remains that if the sex is handled poorly to my tastes, the music better be good enough to make of for it. For most of Ne-Yo’s stuff, the music did not make up for it, and I did feel like sex and sensuality were handled poorly.
I don’t think it’s just Ne-Yo who handles sex poorly, as I would call it. I think the particular way he fails here is common in pop music—especially in particular flavors of rap and adjacent genres—and it is really starting to grate on me. That failure being, the use of sex and sexual imagery is so boring. Even when the content is grotesque and provocative, I start to be bored by them, because it’s like… you couldn’t think of a better way to be grotesque and provocative? It becomes lazy. Don’t be lazy, don’t be lame. Music and poetry, art, should be interesting and imaginative and delightful! Sex should also be interesting and imaginative and delightful! But sex is not inherently those things; you have to be compelling, you have to make it up into something that is interesting and imaginative and delightful. Just talking about sex, going, “sexy and ooh pussy cum I’m addicted to your sex” is not interesting, or imaginative, or delightful. Maybe that delights some people, I suppose. It doesn’t delight me.
I don’t think Ne-Yo is even the most effective demonstration of this error, of this failing. He’s probably got a handful of songs each album where I really feel it, and there’s a general tone of it throughout all his stuff, but he is nowhere near as egregious in this poor presentation of sex as other artists with whom I am familiar. The thought just struck me, I guess, that it’s not even gross or icky so much as it feels lazy, and that’s a shame. It’s part of why I’m tired of listening to Ne-Yo, part of what stopped me from actually going back and trying to give his music more time and opportunity to become something I like.
Although, that might still be understating it. The “general tone” of it is something that I think is a big deal, and consistently impacted how likely I was to like a song, or to want to try to like a song. For instance, one thought that I had quite clearly while listening to Ne-Yo was that I would not want my kids listening to it. Or at least, I would want to be careful with about it.
For most things, I think that exposing kids to lots of things and being able to let them take advantage of the diversity of perspectives and values available to them is a pretty healthy and cool thing. There’s lots of that in music, and I think so much of the music that people do rail against as being “inappropriate” is actually rich with struggle and a search for meaning, is a vital part of life and a beautiful expression of the struggle to live. Art, y’know? Even, and especially, sexual stuff that I myself find myself uncomfortable with because of the particulars of my own relationship with sex and sexuality, I think can provide an expression of sex as something beautiful and desirable. That is hugely important, because that is a huge part of what sex is and what it can be to people.
All that to say, the “general tone” stuff that I take issue with sometimes relates to attitudes surrounding sex, but often that’s fine, or even useful as an additional perspective. The stuff that really gets riled up, that I think is a Bad Influence, is the pervasive and seemingly genuine attitude that it’s good to be on top. There’s this clear message that having money is itself a good, and that the luxuries of wealth are themselves a value worth dedicating your life to. More than that, that wealth and its trappings aren’t just a value worth dedicating your life to pursue, but to have and to take advantage of. There’s a satisfied superiority, and it extends from wealth (which in a class-war sense I think is already terrible to internalize an inherent value of) to sex and relationships, where sex really does come to be about having power over people and in particular being able to control women. It’s super icky, and it’s gilded and painted with gold and made to be so appealing and charming. I guess, with regard to kids, I’d mostly just want to make sure that there was a conversation about it, that the characters modeled here never became aspirational. With regard to people in general, I do think that providing an avenue for this kind of attitude to become not just casually accepted, but casually aspirational, is bad news bears. At worst, I think Ne-Yo is positioned to be a role model for many people and teach them ways to live that I am ideologically opposed to. At best, I think Ne-Yo is kinda just an asshole.
For my own enjoyment, though, I will admit that sometimes that flops back around to being fun and funny. Sometimes, maybe even frequently, Ne-Yo’s got songs that cross over from being stupid and bad into being so incredibly stupid that they’re actually kinda awesome, so stupid that they’re just so hilarious. Like, “Addicted” is so funny, I can’t even. What a song. I think I hated it and it gave me big ick on the first listen, but on the second it just made me laugh and laugh. It’s hilarious, man. It’s so good. This dude is such a cocky asshole, or is at least more than willing to present himself as such. Ne-Yo what are you doing my guy. Or, “Story Time,” that song is hilarious. I cannot for the life of me tell when Ne-Yo does this on purpose, and when he’s just sincerely being a dumbass. I don’t think he really knows, either, and I don’t know that I’d believe every answer he might give me. I don’t even know that it super matters. For an influencer, the thing that you present becomes the thing that you are, and the consequences of that are yours to bear regardless; for my own enjoyment, I think it’s funny either way.
Uh, but yeah. That’s a little meandering and in a lot of ways not talking so much specifically about Ne-Yo and his music at all, but sometimes that’s how it goes. I liked Good Man, the aesthetic and style of that album was more my jam. Pretty enjoyable. But yeah. All things together, the low C- feels appropriate.
Ne-Yo complete, now listening to: PinkPantheress
tunafruitsandwitch 